I was in the 2nd year of my college, probably the best year of any student’s college life, as the 1st year generally passes in adjusting at a new place and mingling with new friends. My life was quiet simple then. I had few extremely good friends, less study pressure and a lot of leisure time to pass on social networking sites. I used to spend most of the time on Facebook or watching new movies. Though I was a little carefree towards my life, I generally used to become quite sincere at the time of my semester exams.
It was November then, and my 3rd Semester exams were just a month away, I came across an unknown girl on Facebook, who was in my friendlist for a few months, but we had never chatted with each other. It was around 11:30 in the night, after finishing my studies when I opened my Facebook to check the notifications for the last time before falling asleep, I noticed only one person was online, it was she. That day, I don’t know why I decided to chat with her just for the sake of a formal introduction.
I sent her a message, “Hi…”.
Without making me wait for a longer time, she too replied back quite quickly, “Hi…”.
My next message was, “I am from Kolkata. You are from which city? ”
She replied that she was from Delhi but her hometown was in Rajasthan. As soon as I heard the name of Rajasthan, I clarified her that I too was from Rajasthan and was staying in Kolkata only for studies.
When I asked her about the name of her hometown, our both hometown came out to be same, and probably this was the reason the chat lasted for 30 more minutes, till the clock did not touch 12 and she said she wanted to sleep then.
We both then greeted Good Night to each other with a promise to chat again any other day.
Next morning, as usual, I wake up as I used to do, and resumed my daily chores and went to college.
Then again, we didn’t chat for a long time. Soon, my internal exams and semester exams were approaching so I deactivated my Facebook account as I used to do at the time of my major exams.
My semester exams started in the first week of December and continued till the third week of the month. After the semester, I re-activated my Facebook account again and started spending the free time again on Facebook. Next day, she sent me a message, “Where have you been for so long? I was searching for you one day to chat with you.” I then replied her that I was having my exams so I had de-activated my account. Since then again we started chatting with each other, this time more regularly as we both were free and the winter break was going on. Soon, we came to know about each other’s likes, dislikes, hobbies and a little about each other’s personality. During this time only, she revealed me about her love for writing poems, and I being an aspiring author had a natural attraction towards literary things asked her to show me few of her poems. Next day onwards, she started posting her poems on her Facebook wall for everyone to read. I too used to read her poems and give my honest reviews. I had seen many young poets writing poems, but the amount of feelings and emotions she put in her poems was simply unparalleled and cannot be explained in words. Her poems were awe-inspiring to me. I just fell in love with her poems. Since then, whenever she posted any poem on Facebook I never forgot to read and praise her composition. This continued for about 3-4 months while we used to chat with each other also quite frequently.
Then came the day of my birthday. Generally, on my birthdays, my family used to go to Mathura-Vrindavan for visit, I didn’t open my Facebook account even once in the whole day, till I returned home at night. At night, when I opened my account, I found three poems in my inbox sent by her, all having themes relating to love and pain. I read all the poems and send my reviews to her. Before that day, she had never sent a poem to my inbox, earlier she only used to post poems only on the common wall. Although, initially I ignored the fact but in the next few days her every poem was becoming more painful as if she wanted to say something to me through her poems which she couldn’t speak to me directly. This thing created a query in my mind that had she fallen in love with me. I then started observing each of her statuses and posts more importantly and felt that what I was thinking was quite right. To be honest with myself, I already liked her, but I was in a confusion that whom I liked more she or her poems.
Finally, one day I gathered courage and decided to ask her about all these things, and asked to clarify the things. I didn’t still know why I had done it, nothing worked in my favour and she simply ended up misunderstanding me. Moreover, she accused me of having lust for her and decided to even discontinue the friendship we had. She not only unfriended me on Facebook but also blocked me. That night, I cried for the whole night and spent several sleepless nights to accept the bitter truth. I was experiencing intense pain for the first time in my life. It took me around 5 months to become used too with the pain. Now pain in love was not a new thing for me. Now, I could understand why people say, ‘Pain and love walk hand in hand.’
I didn’t think I would ever fall in love again. I know that everyone says that after a heartbreak, but the difference is that I’m not heartbroken. I’m not cynical, or pessimistic, or sad. I’m just someone who once felt something bigger than anything else I’d ever felt and when I lost it, I honestly believed I would never have that again. But… I was 22 then and life is long. And I’m feeling things right now that I haven’t in a long, long time.
Yes, two years since then have already passed. People say, ‘Time flies away.’ But, in my case, it has just passed within a blink of my eye. Since, my break-up, I made myself so much busy in studies and career making that I never gave myself time to think about this incident. I am 24 now and I work for an MNC in Gurgaon and like a typical IT guy remains busy from 9 to 5 in office and the remaining time too spends mostly in office work and only gets free time at weekends only.
Last weekend, I went to the Ambience Mall with few of my colleagues. We were seated around a round table and joking with each other and about their past experiences with relationships. Suddenly, a beautiful girl walked past behind my chair, and I could smell the mesmerizing fragrance of the scent that she had applied on her body. Before I could turn, she had passed and I could only see her back. She was wearing a beautiful yellow coloured Patiala suit and her hair was perfectly straightened and was in place. In a funny tone, I asked my friend, “Should I follow her to know her name ?”. When one of my colleagues spoke out , “She is Ankit sister, your last project head. She comes here with her friends every weekend.”
I was speechless to know the fact and decided to approach Ankit to ask him if I could meet his sister.
Next day, I reached office half an hour earlier than my usual time and waited for him to come. As soon as, he reached office I decided to approach him, without even an inch of fearing of losing my job. I approached him and explained the last evening’s incident. Listening to my words, he looked at me with an intense look. For a second, I thought in my mind the next sentence spoken by him will be, ‘You are fired.’ But then he smiled and said, “Ok, visit my home tonight over dinner.”
In the evening, when I reached his house and rang the doorbell she opened the door. It was like love at first sight and this time the love was more intense than the previous time. I regained my conscience and entered the room and took my seat. Then came his brother, we talked with each other and had the dinner. I met her parents also. They were very good people.
Next day, I told Ankit that I liked her and wanted to be in a serious relationship with her. He agreed to my proposal and replied his sister has also attained a marriageable age. Since meeting her last week I have reclaimed the energy and positivity that I had lost two years ago. Now, I have to bind up this story as my mobile is flashing her name, ‘Ridhima Calling’ and my inbox is flooding with her poems. Yes, you got it right she is the same girl with whom I had broken up on Facebook, but this was happening in real this time.
A lonely girl standing at the bus stop,
Wearing a black jeans and white top,
Looking at the mobile screen again and again,
May be waiting for someone,
A group of boys gazing at her,
Like they have never seen a girl so far,
Some whispers, some giggles,
Some comments, some assumptions,
They saw the girl becoming uncomfortable,
Still they continued, only the girl’s sin was,
She was all alone.
A five year old girl going to a nearby school,
Dressed in a white shirt and blue skirt,
With a tie around and hair tied with red ribbon,
Few disguished demons following her,
And she is just unaware of it,
Don’t know who’re those,
Who can’t even see her innocence smile,
And just envisions her with eye of lust,
And still we say lenght of dress,
Is the cause of female molestation.
Only the girl’s sin was,
She used to go school all alone.
A girl for the first time went a friend,
Went out for a movie night,
While returning when no cabs agreed,
To take back home,
She had to repent in fright,
Murmers to God, kindly take me to home tonight,
Next time onwards, I will return in sunlight.
Girls at late night,
People eyes with glaring eyes,
Like some sins they have commited,
By spending one night outside.
Her only sin was,
That day she decided to go all alone.
I wrote this poem as a protest to rising crime against women……
There are couples, there are singles and then there are few like me whose only half is left, and the other half got lost…… 😦 😦